I can't seem to keep up with a routine post

And obviously I can't type out everything that has happened in the past 4 months.

So, here's a synopsis of the past on-goings;

JANUARY-

By far the best month. Everyone: Bel, Kim, Leng, Vad and Nikki. We could still go out. School was on but it just wasn't on full blast. I miss this :(
I even went out clubbing with Leng for the first time ever. Like, full throttle clubbing. Had the best night with her and even met new/old friends. Went home around 5 in the morning. No hang over. HOHOHO.

FEBRUARY-

Things started to slow down a little right here. But I finally got my driving license and was allowed to drive. Since we had an extra car... MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA. Here also, Haneya and I started bonding more and more. Crazy 5 days straight worth of sleeping over :3

MARCH-

Why hello, March. This would be what I call the heartbreak March. The month where everywhere we marched, there seemed to be heartbreak. ZIZZ. See what I did tharr? Total let down. Oh wellz, what to do. I did enjoy myself a little too much during SPM. And before that too, of course. But good thing I got all credits. yayayayy.

APRIL-

Tomorrow is Leng's birthday. I miss Leng.

It feels good to just cry out your hearts content in the shower. The falling water makes it seem, less lonely.

A lot of things have happened over the course of one month. That being after SPM and New Year.
things are pretty much the same, but it's how I'm looking at things that has changed. I'm just a lot of tired and very little happy nowadays. From cooking, cleaning and laundry to taking care of a toddler, you can say I'm pretty much doing it all. Then there's caring for the sick, cranky, moody father.

I get really exhausted, and at times, the exhaustion gets the best of me.
I'm at fault here, I know.
But it would be nice to see a change of scenery.
This is becoming too much of a routine.

Wow.

Now that's a tad bit insensitive.
And coming from me, you'd probably just laugh at it.

What with all the hints, I think you should probably get it? But apparently you don't.
Id like things to change, but first, someone has to make a move.

Wukeyfcbkywebfckuybwekufcyb staying up late is never good.
You tend to over think useless things.
Goodnight.

Hello.

It's 3am.
And I feel awfully emotional again.
I really can't wait until everything ends on the 5th. By then I'd be free.


"I love you... I never told you that but I love you! You very good friend"

It's the texts like these that keep me going sometimes.

How it used to be

Just isn't how it is right now.

I'm not being a very good friend, I know. I'm supposed to tell you that too, I know.
But its hard to tell you when you won't. Really... Listen.

Some things are just better left unsaid. Throw all thoughts about it in a box, lock it up and burn it. Make sure the fire is huuugee. We'll be having a jamboree, dancing around that fire of unsaid things.

As for my forecast results; I'm happy. All credits. I can make use of that :D but somehow, someone jut won't be satisfied with the things you do.

I'm growing up, sure.
I still miss those days when I was younger. Waaaaaay younger.

Being the gutless chicken I am

I'll just, yknow, lay here.

So many things going on in the head, but only few actually oases through the mouth.
But it's better this way, right?
The unsaid should be left unsaid. There's a reason for that.
It may not be a good reason, but it's reason enough. Right?

SPM is less than a month away. I'm not ready at all.
I can kiss my straight As goodbye.

Yeah, I was aiming for straight As, but seeing me now and what I've been doing?
Yeah, I'll kiss them goodbye. But they never were that close anyway, so I'll just bade them goodbye.

How sad.

After a while

You just realize that you're the horrible friend.

I've been excruciatingly cranky to people. And lately, I've been overly emotional.
Too emotional.
I don't know how my friends, or even some people, can put up with that.
Every single day.
That's what makes me appreciate my friends the most.

Those who can't handle you at your worst, definitely don't deserve you at your best.

I should just disappear. Or maybe transform into a cat.
Shouldn't that suffice? :3

A lot has been happening these past few months.

Good things, thats for sure. Bad things, those just can't be avoided.
And to summarize everything I'll just say its been building up character. For me, and most of us.

Relationships between people had been bittersweet, rocky, oh just everything.
I hate SPM. It makes me think twice about everything I'm about to do. Wait, that's good. Nevermind. Moving on.

My inner voice, I believe, is currently hibernating. I've been doing more wrongs than rights.

Climbing fences, keeping secrets I don't think I should be keeping, going behind my parents back. I've been a horrible child.

And God feels like he's still right there. Giving me second chances every now and then and I keep. On. Doing. The. Same. Mistakes.