Hello.

It's 3am.
And I feel awfully emotional again.
I really can't wait until everything ends on the 5th. By then I'd be free.


"I love you... I never told you that but I love you! You very good friend"

It's the texts like these that keep me going sometimes.

How it used to be

Just isn't how it is right now.

I'm not being a very good friend, I know. I'm supposed to tell you that too, I know.
But its hard to tell you when you won't. Really... Listen.

Some things are just better left unsaid. Throw all thoughts about it in a box, lock it up and burn it. Make sure the fire is huuugee. We'll be having a jamboree, dancing around that fire of unsaid things.

As for my forecast results; I'm happy. All credits. I can make use of that :D but somehow, someone jut won't be satisfied with the things you do.

I'm growing up, sure.
I still miss those days when I was younger. Waaaaaay younger.

Being the gutless chicken I am

I'll just, yknow, lay here.

So many things going on in the head, but only few actually oases through the mouth.
But it's better this way, right?
The unsaid should be left unsaid. There's a reason for that.
It may not be a good reason, but it's reason enough. Right?

SPM is less than a month away. I'm not ready at all.
I can kiss my straight As goodbye.

Yeah, I was aiming for straight As, but seeing me now and what I've been doing?
Yeah, I'll kiss them goodbye. But they never were that close anyway, so I'll just bade them goodbye.

How sad.

After a while

You just realize that you're the horrible friend.

I've been excruciatingly cranky to people. And lately, I've been overly emotional.
Too emotional.
I don't know how my friends, or even some people, can put up with that.
Every single day.
That's what makes me appreciate my friends the most.

Those who can't handle you at your worst, definitely don't deserve you at your best.

I should just disappear. Or maybe transform into a cat.
Shouldn't that suffice? :3

A lot has been happening these past few months.

Good things, thats for sure. Bad things, those just can't be avoided.
And to summarize everything I'll just say its been building up character. For me, and most of us.

Relationships between people had been bittersweet, rocky, oh just everything.
I hate SPM. It makes me think twice about everything I'm about to do. Wait, that's good. Nevermind. Moving on.

My inner voice, I believe, is currently hibernating. I've been doing more wrongs than rights.

Climbing fences, keeping secrets I don't think I should be keeping, going behind my parents back. I've been a horrible child.

And God feels like he's still right there. Giving me second chances every now and then and I keep. On. Doing. The. Same. Mistakes.

Worthless

Who even fails math nowadays? who gets bloody low marks for moral?
I even bet up a kid. I had my reasons but I don't think those reasons were good enough to beat. Him. Up. Its a monstrosity, no. I'm a monstrosity.

Sometimes.

At many points of life, I wonder what am I doing here when I'm obviously not good enough for anything. I'm not helping anyone. I suck at cheering people up. No lives rare brightened thanks to me.

What am I doing here?

I forgot to mention

A kid grabbed my ass.

What the actual bloody habibah.

When it rains

Things get wet. Very wet.

I can't say the same goes for my cheeks though. They're quite dry, if you exclude the facial moisture and humidity.

I haven't been on for a looonnng time now. I miss you blogger :( and the reason isn't even legitimate. I just didn't want to go on because I refuse to type a post on this bloody piece of touch screen block. It feels so dead. It just doesn't feel the same. Anywho, life has been long. Or at least that's what it felt like.

I honestly don't know what to feel about it.
I'm just a ball of undecided emotions.
What with SPM just around the corner. 68 days to be exact.
Where did all the time go?
On one end, I'm awfully glad it's going to be over, and on the other I'm just not ready to go through this.